From Executive Presence to Executive Essence: Leading with Authenticity in a Polished World

How to move past superficial training and learn how leaders can cultivate true presence rooted in values, confidence, and connection.

One of the most common inquiries we receive is for coaching on “executive presence.”

Sometimes the developmental feedback is specific - “needs to build stronger cross-functional relationships,” or “needs to exert more influence and present ideas more authoritatively” are examples.

More often, though, “executive presence” is a catch all for a vague sense of something missing. Or a discomfort with promoting someone without clear, actionable reasoning. And too often the criticisms or identified “gaps” are rooted in an individual’s physical characteristics and presentation and an invitation for the individual to “do” differently - which misses the deeper, more sustainable foundation of what makes someone truly compelling.

We have come to understand that “executive presence” is rooted in three things:

1. Clear values. An unequivocal truth about what the leader believes in and how they make decisions, and consistent behaviour aligned with those beliefs.
2. Context. What matters and works differs by environment and even by audience within any given organization, so adaptability of approach has to occur while remaining true to the values point above.
3. Relationships. The ability to build trust-based relationships at all levels.

When we consider “presence” this way, it prompts us to understand that we need to shift the conversation - from executive presence to executive essence.

The Problem with Performance

In coaching senior leaders over the past two decades, we’ve seen time and again how people - especially women and people from historically excluded groups - get told to “fix” their presence. Speak louder. Dress differently. Smile more. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t be too direct. It’s exhausting, contradictory, and often rooted in outdated expectations of what leadership should look like. And - more importantly - making external changes might shift some perceptions in the short term, but changes that are only external don’t solve the issues that are core to authentic, sustainable leadership.

The leaders who have the most impact - the ones who stay, who elevate their teams, who make things happen, whose decisions are trusted and who are sought out by others at all levels - aren’t just performing leadership or giving the appearance of leadership. They are leaders, from the inside out. They are not “doing” leadership, they are “being” a leader.

That’s essence.

What Is Executive Essence?

Executive essence is about the alignment between who you are and how you lead. It’s the felt sense of confidence, clarity, and connection that radiates from someone who knows what they stand for. It’s rooted in authenticity, values, and self-trust - not in memorizing leadership formulas or mimicking someone else’s style.

Essence isn’t loud. It’s not showy. But it’s powerful. Because when someone leads from their essence, others feel it. They feel safe. They feel seen. They seek connection and trusted relationship. They feel called to contribute.

Moving Past the Surface

Developing executive essence is about going inward. Here’s where to start:

1. Know your values.Not the ones you think you should have, but the ones that actually drive your decisions. What matters to you most? What principles are non-negotiable? When you lead from values, your presence becomes naturally magnetic - because it’s grounded in something real.
2. Build embodied confidence.Confidence rooted in skill, lived experience, and emotional resilience lasts longer than confidence built on accolades or titles. It means doing the work to know your stuff - but also to know yourself. Confidence doesn’t require you to be the loudest voice in the room. It requires you to own your voice, fully and unapologetically.
3. Practice intentional connection.Presence isn’t just about how you show up - it’s about how others feel in your presence. True executive essence creates connection. That means listening more than talking. Being curious. Taking the risk of being human with the people you lead. The best leaders we’ve worked with bring warmth and presence into every room - not to perform, but to connect and to care.

Authenticity ≠ Oversharing

It’s important to debunk the idea that “executive essence” and “authenticity” cannot co-exist. Quite the contrary. They actually must.

That said, let’s be clear: authenticity doesn’t mean baring your soul at every meeting. Executive essence is disciplined authenticity. It means choosing what to share, when to share it, and how to do it in service of the moment, the mission, and the people you lead. It means being whole, not raw. It means being real in a way that builds trust and credibility, not just vulnerability for its own sake. But the ability to make that choice - to adapt - is something that requires thought and judgment.

Values and behaviour often get conflated. Our values are deeply embedded and provide the operating system for our decisions. Our behaviours, on the other hand, are the “language” with which we choose to deliver our message and execute our decisions. Language - or communication “style” - is the surface level approach that can change based on audience and situation. Think of style as a toolbox - different audiences and situations might require different tools or approaches, but the message and the values that provide the foundation for the message don’t change.

And adapting your approach or choosing a behaviour does not constitute being inauthentic. Rather, it shows respect for what the audience and situation need, and an ability to - as offered by a client - “speak into the listening that’s available.”

Think of it as similar to traveling to a foreign country. The customs and culture are different, so understanding and adapting makes it easier for locals to accept you. “Bonjour” in a store in Paris establishes you as respectful and polite - two aspects central to French culture and easy enough to adapt to without compromising your integrity.

Why It Matters Now

In today’s world of AI-generated resumes, curated Instagram feeds, and boardroom buzzwords, we’re all a little tired of anything or anyone that feels fake or contrived. People are hungry for realness. People don’t want to follow the most polished leader. They want to follow the one who actually cares. The one who takes responsibility, owns mistakes, and creates space for others to shine. The one who has essence.

And from a practical perspective? Essence is more sustainable than presence. It’s less exhausting. It doesn’t require you to put on a mask every day. You don’t have to perform your leadership when you’re living it.

How can a coach help?

By definition an external coach has objectivity. We are able to help our clients articulate their own set of operating values (and if that’s of interest, please reach out - we have a proprietary approach for that). We can help the leader develop a toolkit of behaviours and approaches that serve the business purpose while remaining aligned with those core values. We create a safe space for experimentation and processing. And we provide encouragement for building the courage to show up authentically and, on occasion, vulnerably.

The Bottom Line

What it means to be a leader differs by organization. When you consider the difference in culture and keys to success in a bank versus in a tech company you can start to understand how the characteristics of a leader are bound to differ. But the same person can potentially be successful in either environment - it’s a question of understanding that environment and then adapting into it while remaining true to a consistent set of values that are the foundation of behaviours and decisions.

Presence training has its place. But without substance behind it, it’s just theater. The world doesn’t need more executives who look the part. It needs more who are the part - leaders who are clear on their values, confident in their path, and connected to the people they serve.

So if you’ve ever felt like “executive presence” doesn’t make sense - good. That’s your invitation to stop molding yourself into someone else’s version of a leader and start cultivating the essence of who you already are.